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The Ultimate Parking Space Protector.
QUESTION:What is wrong with a skid-steer (aka Bobcat)? Clear out every space on
the block, and dump the snow on the spot that is reserved.
Chicago has enough snow, it just needs to be re-distributed a bit.
I think one of those flakes settled on my block - used a crocheted blanket to
reserve a parking space (one that I dug out but did not "save"). Of course, no
one could see it, so they parked there anyway.
Which leads me to this question... if someone forgets to put their "protector"
back in place, but leaves it in the snow bank on the sidewalk, is the space
still "protected"? What is the proper Chicago - pardon the expression -
etiquette in this situation?
ANSWER: I don't think a lotto prize would be enough for that endeavour. Maybe a
fractional Bill Gates fortune will suffice, but that problem hasn't been
studied. Takes a lot less money to develop snow trucks, stealth cars, and who
else knows what other bizarre vehicles than to date a supermodel, and takes a
lot less effort plus no plastic surgery is required.
If I had a lotto prize, my garage would have a collection of some bizarre
vehicles I suppose. The deathtrap car I recently junked would have been
perfect as one, to use for visiting family with to hide the wealth. If the
prize was big enough, a flying car is a must-develop. (avoid speed traps by
use of flight on long trips) Don't know if I'd add a snow truck though, but a
stealth car is a must-have. I suppose I would have to have ONE normal car with
no ed up features. (boy, that would be an adjustment)
The Bobcat would work for protecting the space all right. But you couldn't
drive it to work. Now, if you had one of those super-size city front end
loaders that twists in the middle, you could. Burn a lot of petrol though.
Furthermore, you could in summer put forks on it to fork traffic onto the
shoulder, including yuppies in SUVs. Also good for carrying pallets of stuff
home from a Home Depot.
Imagine the newspaper headline:
"FORKLIFT DRIVER CAUGHT SPEEDING"...
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